Tuesday, January 18, 2011

5 Things For Which I Have No Natural Talent

There are a lot of things I'm awesome at. Like...baking. I'm really good at baking. And making lists. I kick ass when it comes to writing (or so I've been told...) and apparently I give really good back massages too. However, there are some things I wish I was better at. These are things for which I have no talent, whatsoever. No amount of time or practice will make me better at these things, and trust me. I've tried.

1. Knitting. Or any crafts, really. Try as I might, I cannot draw. I cannot paint. I cannot sculpt. I've made two scrapbooks (if you can call them that) and both times it was a long, drawn out process that made me grumpy. I've made a scarf, but not without lots of help from others when I managed to make 10 stitches into 15. And don't even try to get me to crochet. I'm sorry, but you all are destined to receive store bought cards and gifts from me.

2. Dancing. When I dance, I look like a special needs epileptic person in the middle of a seizure. And no amount of practice will make me any better. I've been going out dancing (hello, Bijou!) since I turned 21 and I haven't figured it out yet.

3. Patience. Anyone who knows me well knows that I'm not really a very patient person. I present a patient and collected exterior, but on the inside, my crazy is hanging out all over the place. This flaw is exacerbated by the unknown. I'm trying very hard to be patient with the moving situation (I start my job on February 14!), but the fact that I don't know what's going on is very frustrating for me.

4. Reading maps. This one surprises me because my dad is a map person. (We call him Map Boy.) Confession time: I have NO sense of direction. I use my GPS to get around Monmouth and the surrounding area. If you were to take me in the middle of a field, spin me around a few times, and leave...I'd be royally screwed. Please don't do this to me. (Note: Lacking this skill has made me incredibly useless in corn mazes.)

5. Parallel Parking. I'm thinking I'll get better at this while I live in Chicago, but for the past six years, I've sucked at parallel parking.

What do you have no natural talent for?

Please note, this is not a cry for help or pity. Merely an observation.

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